reflections on 10 years of homeschooling.

This week on the Read-Aloud Revival Premium membership, I listened to Sarah McKenzie’s Monday podcast for mamas. She spoke of God’s grace, which is given in the exact moment we need it. Not a minute before. It’s the grace that enables us to do things we previously thought impossible.

When we need to be ready to do something, God makes us ready. When our kids need to be ready to do something, God makes them ready.

I think her words are a fitting way to sum up ten years of homeschooling my children (eleven, if you count 4K). Quite simply, my journey of homeschooling is a journey of “I could never’s.” It’s a journey of learning about God’s infinite patience with me. He’s the One who gave me the vision and courage I needed to face the next “I could never,” and the grace to go ahead and do it.

Here are some of the things younger Julie said she could never do.

“I could never homeschool . . .

. . . my kids, period.”

. . . living in a foreign country.”

. . . as an introvert.”

. . . while helping my husband plant a church.”

. . . when other people think I’m weird for doing it.”

. . . during an adoption process.”

. . . with two newly-adopted and very needy toddlers.”

. . . without also utilizing preschool.”

. . . four children.”

. . . during a house addition.”

. . . kids with learning disabilities.”

. . . without a homeschool room.”

. . . while battling anxiety and depression.”

. . . as a pastor’s wife.”

. . . such a strong-willed child.”

. . . during a kitchen renovation.”

. . . with a broken heart.”

. . . and also teach other people’s kids part time.”

. . . with a dog in our family.”

. . . high school.”

I marvel as I look at that list and realize I did every.single.one of those things.

I did it!

Mind you, I had help. Always. I look back over our winding 11-year journey and see so clearly that God provided me with the people and resources I needed in every single season, at the exact moment I needed them. Not a minute sooner. My friend Elisabeth says, “God’s grace is manna,” and she is right.

I didn’t plan to homeschool, ever. Then I didn’t plan to the next year, or the next. Until suddenly, I did plan to. And there was still so much to learn. So many challenges to overcome and people to teach to read and discipline moments and pivots to make and just . . . noise.

And all along the way, God was there, bringing the answers and the help we needed. We still need so much help. And He’s still giving it.

Here is some of the help He’s brought us: Keli, Maggie, and Alison. Beth Everett. Sonlight. Priya. Classical Conversations. Read-Aloud Revival. SCAIHS. Tricia Williamson. Peggy Miller. The Graham family, especially Grace. Therapy 360. The kind fellow swim parents at Columbia Swimming. DIVE math videos. Authors & Adventures. Sarah Carter. My in-laws. Classical Village. The Dyslexia Resource Center and Mrs. Carolyn. Math-U-See. Palmetto Homeschool Association. Great Homeschool Conventions. Omnibus co-op.

And of course, above all, David, who has believed in me far more than I believe in myself.

You see?

No one homeschools alone. Or at least, if they do, I haven’t met them.

We all need help. We need to not be afraid to ask for it, to go searching if need be. Help has very rarely dropped into my lap — I’ve had to go out and look for it. Due to different life circumstances, very few of my homeschool mentors were real life friends. Instead, they’ve come in the form of bloggers and podcasts and books. Susan Wise Bauer and Cindy Rollins and Karen Glass. Ann Voskamp and Sarah McKenzie and Sally Clarkson and Leah Bodin. People who mentored me from afar with their words of wisdom and encouragement and honesty. Instead of feeling the victim for not having more in-person mentoring, I’ve had to accept the help God gave me through these women.

I have one poignant conversation in my head that stands out from the year we were planting our church. When I mentioned that we were considering homeschooling our kids, a mom I admired said, “I homeschooled my kids through 8th grade, then sent them to our public high school because people told us we should. It wasn’t terrible, but I wish so much that I would’ve just followed my heart and homeschooled them straight through 12th grade.”

I’m thankful for the vulnerability of her words, and thankful for the way God used them to give me courage to follow my heart this year with Judah. I lived in terror of homeschooling high school (see, some of my “I could never’s” came from only a year ago). But we did it, with help, and it was an incredible year. Truly incredible. I could not be more proud of the way my son has grown and thrived this year.

I see now that that’s what all this is. Our story of homeschooling is really just the story of our family growing and growing up together.

It’s the story of God taking a very ordinary, limited, sinful woman who seriously did not know what she was doing, and helping her just take the next step. And the next. And the next. The results I see in my home today, in our family, so far surpass what I’ve been able to give that I know it’s Him. As He’s helped me just be faithful to offer what I have, He’s brought fruit that far surpasses what David and I could’ve dreamed up for our family.

I can’t tell you what the next seven years hold, which is how long we have before Noah graduates (just seven years). I can’t say whether I’ll homeschool all four kids all the way or not. I can say that at this point in the game, I plan to. But my hands are open. God has always shown us the way, given us the grace in the moment we need it.

And He’ll keep doing so, I’m positive.

The beginning of our homeschool journey, 2012-2013 (I’d also like to add that, unbeknownst to us, Noah was born in December 2012). While our lives were crumbling to pieces in India with my health and an emergency move home, God was getting us ready to meet our little boys.