homeschooling preschool, part two.

Some of you have been asking me my thoughts/ideas on homeschooling for preschool.  Clearly I’m no expert, but after a year of South Asian preschool and a year of 4K, and based on my over-zealous research, including many conversations with school teachers, family, and friends, here is my loose philosophy of education for the preschool years.

1.  Read aloud

I really think if there’s one thing that every family should do in preschool and beyond, whether or not your kids are in school, it would be this.  A love of reading is one of the greatest gifts my parents gave me, and it’s how my kids have learned by far the most (when you’re reading good quality stories, you’re learning vocabulary and ideas, history and geography, conflict and character, all without even realizing it).

The public library is amazing.  Truly amazing.  I lived without it for 18 months and even with Kindle and FlipKart (South Asian version of Amazon) I felt almost a physical sense of loss.  The kids and I go weekly and stock up on stacks of books.

There are some great reading lists available if you need ideas.  Here’s a wonderful one.  I’ve taught my kids to think of a topic they’re interested in (like “horses”), and go find and ask a librarian to choose some books for them.  The librarians are fantastic: they usually choose an assortment of fiction and non-fiction books.  I’ve also started asking the librarians for their favorite authors/recommendations, and that’s produced nothing but winners so far.

2. Free play and art work

Please, please read Simplicity Parenting, by Kim John Payne.  It will tell you all you need to know about preschool, and parenting in our generation in general.  The basic premise of the book is that kids in our world today are stripped of their childhood by our society’s intense pressure to advance, schedule, and “be exceptional”.

Kids don’t need more extracurricular activities.  They need more quiet mornings outdoors to pick up sticks and dig in the dirt.  They need consistent daily routine with large pockets of downtime carved in (the opposite of hyper-scheduling).  Kim John Payne, who is a child psychologist and a father of young children demonstrates very well in his book just how necessary free, unhurried play is to a child’s development.  He argues that boredom is even a good thing and that often it precedes creativity.

In the same vein, preschool artwork doesn’t need to always be structured crafts.  Payne advises offering good quality art supplies to our kids: paper, paints, colored pencils, and letting them experiment with color and form and texture.  We’ve based our art time around this idea all year, and it’s been especially freeing for me, who would just about rather do anything than find and coordinate daily crafts from Pinterest.

When the kids go to my mom’s house she sets them up in her art room with real paints and paper and turns on classical music while they work with the sunlight streaming in the windows.  Other ideas for “free” art work include play dough (making homemade together is fun!), finger painting, finger drawing in a tray of salt.

3.  Go outside

Just like kids need lots of time for play, they also need lots of time outside.  This is an area I’ve needed to stretch myself in because I’m by no means an outdoorsy person.  But after learning just how beneficial being outdoors is for kids (and for grown-ups!), I’ve come to value it more and more.

Kids don’t just need to be outside riding bikes, although that’s great, they need to explore at the river, discover insects, climb trees, play in the mud.  Nature is both stimulating and soothing for all of us, and I’m more and more challenged to help instill an early love of the outdoors in my children (and this will come be hypocritical to them unless I’m growing in my own wonder and appreciation for nature).

Honestly the main reason David and I plan to garden is that it’s an excuse to get our family out-of-doors and involved with nature regularly.  We both realize that we need regular, external motivation.

4.  Involve kids in your real day

Kids learn by watching us and doing what we’re doing: cooking with us, cleaning with us, grocery shopping with us.  Think of how many skills they will learn in just those three activities.

Full disclosure: this is my very weakest area.  I become task-oriented when it comes to house work.  Sure I’ll sit on the floor and play with my kids, but when I need to get stuff done, I want to do it quickly and efficiently.

I constantly need to be reminded to slow down (what’s really so urgent about watering the plants anyway?), and invite Judah and Amie to join in.  I need to be reminded to stop and show them how to measure flour and wipe the table and sort laundry.  These are life skills that will last far longer than any worksheets, they will make my life a lot easier as they grow in sharing more and more responsibilities around the house, and it’s an important way to spend quality time together.

5. Begin to instill a love of learning

This was a breakthrough thought for me.   It has brought such a simplicity to our preschool days together, and has given me a more holistic view of education.  If I can somehow pass on to my children an enthusiastic desire to learn, then they will learn.  They’ll be self-motivated.  They’ll keep learning and growing and evolving as persons long after their school years are finished.

This also gives me permission to be a learner.  It is not in the best interest of my family for me to be a martyr-mom, to be a slave to housework and to sacrifice my own interests to my family’s every need and schedule.  Of course as a follower of Jesus I’m to be a servant, but I am also to be fully who He created me to be.

If I’m growing into new hobbies and interests, if I’m serving in my community and reading books and meeting people who expand my view of the world, that’s naturally contagious.  When we go to the library, we spend time in the kids’ section collecting books they’re interested in, then we spend time in the food or gardening or biography section collecting books I’m interested in.

And so we’re all learners together.

You may be reading all of these points and thinking, But all of this isn’t specific to homeschooling; my kids go to preschool and we do all of these things as a family.

That’s right!  You can practice these habits regardless of what school your kids are in, which is great news since we’ve all made a variety of schooling choices.  The point of Payne’s book is that intentional, consistent time with our kids has a far greater impact on their lives than their hours in traditional school.

For those who have decided not to go the preschool route: you may notice my philosophy doesn’t include a lot about learning to form letters or write their name or learn numbers.  Somehow the kids have picked up so much just from us doing the above habits.  I know David works with Judah informally learning numbers and counting and basic addition and subtraction, and I can tell this is an area he’s going to be really sharp in.  Beyond that, if they’re interested in something, we teach them how to do it (like write their name).

I guess my recommendation if this is an area you’re worried about is to check on the internet or talk with a teacher friend about what basic skills your child needs for kindergarten.  A couple of my educator friends have encouraged me, “As long as your kids are spending regular, intentional time with you and as long as you’re reading aloud, they’re going to be fine.”

Since Judah was born, I’ve worried about whether he is “behind” other kids developmentally (just ask David who has had to listen to all my random fears).  But after five and a half years of parenting, I’m starting to relax, and I realize I already worry so much less about Amie.  I think moms in my generation have such a vast influx of information at our fingertips that we can become consumed by anxiety and the comparison game.

My friend Karen once told me that in Great Britain, where she’s from, kids don’t start school until they are six or seven years old.  Parents believe that the early years are time for imaginative free play, reading aloud with their parents, and being outdoors.  Though she currently lives in South Asia where kids often start preschool when they’re two years old, Karen insists on keeping her kids at home until they are six.  She told me that even with no formal school experience far they catch up with their peers within a couple of weeks of first grade.

While I’m not going to follow this specific practice, it has influenced the way I think about my kids and their development.  Of course I want them to be challenged and stimulated.  But I also want them to be children.  They have years and years of school ahead of them.  We don’t need to rush anything.