I’m sitting here, taking a deep breath, still trying to process what happened these last two weeks, trying to wrap my mind around how a life can change in an instant.
Everything is different now.
David and I heard about two brothers, ages 3 and 2, through our adoption agency on Wednesday, April 8th. We received very little information but both immediately knew we wanted to be considered as an adoptive family.
I won’t lie, some panic and sleepless nights ensued.
This was very, very unexpected for us! As you know we’d been thinking “baby.” We were on the Infant Adoption track with Bethany Christian Services. We had a nursery set up! We had attic and basement filled with hand-me-down baby paraphernalia and boxes of newborn clothes!
However, we’d been praying since the beginning of our process for siblings. It’s very rare to get a sibling group, especially with infant adoption, but we knew we eventually wanted to adopt two children, and thought, It sure would be amazing if it could happen all at once — and if they could be biologically related.
In addition, the two of us had always struggled with the age gap between our big kids and a newborn baby, so when we imagined that we could have four kids all almost exactly two years apart, we began to get excited.
We knew it was still a long shot that we would be chosen for the brothers, but we began praying hard and talking to a couple friends about the realities of older child adoption.
On Monday afternoon, April 13th (the day after our Easter party!), we got The Call. Well David got it and then he called me from work. We were completely shocked and so very nervous. That day we learned lots more about the boys and we learned their names!
Gabriel Lucas and Noah Isaac.
I’d been struggling a good bit with fear imagining the unknowns of our life with almost-4 and 2-year-old boys we’d never met or seen, but from the moment I heard their names, every shred of doubt and fear went away.
I just knew, Those are my sons.
We drove to meet with their birth mom on Thursday, and from then on we went through a process to meet Gabriel and Noah and have them become familiar with our family before bringing them home. We would drive to meet up with them at a park or Barnes and Noble and play together. Then race back home to get our house and their bedroom ready. Oh, and trade in our SUV for a minivan! Our family was an incredible help and support as we all raced in different directions last week, and sweet friends brought us meals.
It was an exhausting week for everyone, but we are so, so thankful for this process and wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not only did we begin getting to know the boys, but also their birth mom, which paved the way for our relationship.
She is a wonderful, courageous woman who will be part of our lives forever. We’ve already seen her since bringing the boys home and will continue to see and talk to her regularly. I’ve been texting her photos and videos throughout the day, and we’re talking on the phone every night this first week. David and I feel so blessed that we like her and enjoy our time with her. It’s amazing to have someone to text and ask to decipher what one of the boys is asking for, to learn which bedtime songs they like, and to be able to Skype when Noah is crying for “Mommy.” We can already see how much it has helped the boys with the transition.
I am not a big crier but I cried almost every single day of our 6-month wait. I couldn’t explain it, but often our birth mom would come into my head — this nameless, faceless woman out in the distance. And I would cry, “Please, Lord. I can’t see her. I can’t get to her. Please bring her to us.”
And now, meeting her, I understand. She’s part of our family.
There are so many more details of this story that are so personal and sweet, that show David and me that this is the birth mom and these are the boys God ordained to be in our family from the beginning of time, that explain the years of waiting and the heartache even of coming home from overseas. I know it may sound far-fetched, but I’m fully convinced that the agony of our waiting was directed related to the fact that our sons were alive.
And now we are together.
Over and over these past two weeks we’ve been amazed by this perfect fit and by God’s goodness — both to us and to them.
Gabe and Noah came home 13 months after starting the adoption process with Bethany. The longest of pregnancies, but it makes our joy so full.
And suddenly we’re a family of six!
There are two more little people running around our house and life just got a whole lot livelier. As you can imagine this blog post took many sittings to complete. More details on sibling bonding to come, but Judah and Amelie have weathered the unexpected like champs and are a wonderful big brother and big sister.
It will take us all time to settle in and adjust, and we’d love your prayers for the road ahead. As someone commented on Instagram, “Even good change is hard.” David took last week off work and is taking this week as well — I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have him home. We’re grateful for a church family and staff who support and love us and are giving us space to bond.
And so the adventure begins!