this week.

We’ve spent a lovely, very quiet week without our two big kids.

Gabe and Noah went to half-day CIU soccer camp, and had a great time. It gave me some much-needed quiet mornings to do things like run errands, deep clean the refrigerator, take my mom out for a birthday breakfast, and order school curriculum. I was astonished by how productive I can be when I’m all alone. David and I got a date night too.

I spent the afternoons with our two boys which felt surreal. The biggest thing I noticed is that I just plain enjoyed each of them more, without the constant clamor for mom’s attention from four sources. We played games, hung out with friends, and chatted. I’m praying that I can bring this attitude of enjoyment into next week when we’re all together again.

I was very thankful to realize my little guys truly aren’t too much of a handful. They’re just active, funny, forgetful little boys. But when it’s all the kids I get overloaded. That’s okay. It’s the life I’ve chosen and I wouldn’t trade a single one of them for a quieter house and more alone time.

But I did tell David in despair, “I love my life, but I like the Mom I am with two kids better.”

One practical goal I’m taking out of this week is to seek out one of my kids each day for a little one-on-one time to connect, even if it’s just a few rounds of Uno. I’ve been doing this for awhile, but I learned this week, that in order for it to truly feel like quality time, I need to remove that kid from the fray in order to eliminate interruptions … maybe take them to our bedroom or their room. Away from the others. Away from my phone.

David and I have noticed that whenever we single out one kid for attention, the others immediately crowd in and we feel the need to include them all. That’s okay sometimes. But sometimes we can set a boundary, say “No, I’m spending time with ____ for a few minutes.” David is better about this than I am.

I want my kids to feel that I enjoy them for who they are, right now. I want to work hard at continuing to get to know them, not assuming I know them. I want to sit and look into their eyes and give them my undivided attention. I plan to write the child’s initials on my calendar to make sure I’m rotating through connecting with them.

We’re able to see photos online of our campers all week and send them letters and email (or “bunk notes” as they’re called now). Both Judah and Amie appear to be having a blast. I can’t wait to give them huge hugs tomorrow and hear their stories.

Here are a few notes from the boys to Judah and Amelie, as dictated to us . . .

from Gabe:
I hope you’re having very, very fun! You must be having a good time. We first went to the oil change, then we went to the library. We got two candies. When we’re waiting for the oil change we got a candy, then when we’re about to go we had a candy. I loved it that I had the candy. And we played I Spy and we played the animal game that we had to guess. I read one library about sea otters all by myself. I am filling out Mom’s reading chart because she read tons of books. From, Gabe

Me: “Are you guys going to miss soccer camp a little, or are you glad it’s over?”

Gabe: “I’ll miss it a little!”

Noah: “I will never miss it. You have to do too much work at soccer camp.”

We had a wonderful week, but are all very excited for Judah and Amie to come home tomorrow!