Dear Noah, On New Year’s Eve we celebrated your fourth birthday and discovered you have grown two whole inches since we adopted you. When you came into our lives 20 months ago, you were simultaneously the most charming child we’d ever met, and you were angry and out of control. You constantly stopped strangers in delight just by your smile and your zest for life. But you also grabbed other kids’ toys and threw them in the trash out of spite. You hit your grandparents if they didn’t give you what you wanted. You knew very few words, but “no” was one of them. You had a smile that lit…