SAD, sickness, and being busy.

We’re in the middle of January, friends. Winter is in full swing, and I find myself feeling a surge of inordinate happiness when the sun appears. Speaking of which, have you heard of S.A.D.: Seasonal Affective Disorder? It’s silly saying this since I live in the south, but I’m beginning to think I have a touch of it.

I don’t know if it was the time we spent in tropical South Asia or if it’s me getting older, but last winter and this winter are just plain tough. I thought it was just a contentment issue. As in, I need to learn to be content with cold weather. But I notice such a difference in my moods and energy during these short, gray days. No matter how early I go to bed it feels nearly impossible to get up early in the mornings. And I’m just generally sluggish.

I’m sure it doesn’t help that last week the kids and I were sick. I realized at the end of the week that aside from a quick run, I didn’t leave my house from Monday evening until Friday evening. No wonder I’ve been feeling low. David would like me to let you know that I read a 1,000 page book during those four days. But it was Gone With The Wind . . . not exactly heavy reading (and if you can believe it I had absolutely no idea how it ended so I was dying to know how things worked out between Scarlett and Rhett).

I’ve always been prejudiced against Gone With The Wind for a number of reasons including the fact that I’ve doubted it can be called “classic literature.” But I have to report that I loved the book and am much more interested in our state’s history as a result.

Life felt like it was in a time warp last week, but it certainly sped right back up afterward. The days are flying by again (way faster than in December somehow) and it’s hard to catch up. I’ve got several blog posts brewing in my head but no time to write them. I’m trying my best to make school a priority which means emails and phone calls are not getting returned and our house is decidedly not clean.

But, one thing at a time. Sigh.

I spent most of last year arguing with people who remarked about how busy our family is. I’d respond, “No we’re not! Well, David is, but I’m not!!!” I took it as a personal failure to be labeled “busy.” But a friend said it again Monday night, and I caught myself mid-argument and said, “Yes. Yes, we are very busy right now.” I guess it feels good to be honest.

You’re probably thinking, “What did you expect with church-planting?” and you’re right. It’s just that I want so very badly to not be that person. I don’t want to be the one who’s busy, who doesn’t have time for friends and play dates and leisurely chats on the phone.

But even though that’s more or less true right now, my heart still swells with appreciation for our busyness. It’s a good busy. It’s a busy that’s filled with people. People we love, people that we’re getting to know, people that challenge and stretch and make our lives rich.

And so even with the winter blues, sickness, and busyness, the plain truth of the matter is this: I love my life. This is the sweetest season of perhaps our entire marriage. I feel settled. I feel loved. I feel healthy. I feel incredibly grateful.