running and river-ing.

This summer was the summer of running together and exploring the river together.

Both of these activities are now firmly entrenched in the culture of our family, and I have David to thank for it.

I love family time. But my idea of meaningful family time is endless games of Farkle and Yahtzee at the dining room table, a good read-aloud, or movie night.

David’s idea of meaningful family time, on the other hand, is adventure, adventure, adventure. It’s getting outside, being active, pushing ourselves to try new things and discover new places.

This has created some tension in our marriage over the years when it comes to how we want to spend free time. Especially Saturdays. There were whole years in which we both just dreaded Saturdays because at best we knew it was impossible for both of us to be happy with the day, and at worst, we’d end up arguing over it.

However, I think, with all its challenges, 2020 may just be the first year of consistently peaceful, fun Saturdays in our marriage.

And this is due to running and the river.

First, running.

You know that we started running regularly as a family together in April, and ran our first 5K (not an official 5K) in May. David’s been a runner for many years, and I’ve been very hit-or-miss with any kind of exercise (mostly miss). But when he set up a running program for the kids during COVID quarantine, I decided it was a good opportunity for me to start the habit, and I wrote about it here.

I’m so glad that David forced us to keep up with the routine even after we hit our 5K goal. The kids and I still do several shorter runs on week days (which David posts for us on our kitchen whiteboard), then Saturday is the day for our family run. This has been 3 to 4 1/2 miles, although the big kids recently did a 5-miler with David. We run at the river, then I drive the kids and myself home, and David proceeds to run the 4 miles home.

All summer we’ve been running at the Saluda River walk near the zoo because it’s much shadier. But yesterday we ran at the Broad River walk so we could swim after we were finished.

And like I mentioned in my first post about running, the biggest surprise for me is that you can bond as a family doing something you don’t particularly love just as you can bond doing something really fun.

Actually, I’ve grown to enjoy running more, but some days I plain hate it. The kids have a variety of emotions regarding our runs, although I’m happy to report that we’ve successfully made it past the many runs that involved complaining, tears, threats, and someone lagging far behind all the others. But none of them would choose to take a run on any given day.

Even so–perhaps especially so–running has brought us closer together. We’ve all accomplished more than we thought possible. We dread the daily run together and celebrate our victories together and enjoy the river together (one day this week the kids and I counted 21 turtles).

Which leads me to our second family hobby.

David asked, “Can you imagine that we chose this house 7 years ago with no idea that we’d have access to two rivers within ten minutes of our house, and that we’d end up visiting them almost daily?”

It’s true. We could hardly pick a better location for both our running routine and our river exploration.

Yesterday, we wore swim suits and ran 3 miles, then the kids and I jumped in the van and drove to Dunkin’ Donuts while David ran three more. We returned with donuts and iced coffee, two beach chairs, flip-flops and life jackets (we leave our towels in the van).

Our favorite spot for swimming is right near the dam, down the hill by the Broad River Road side restrooms (see, now I’m telling you all our secrets).

David has trained our kids well, that everyone helps load and unload the van and shares the load of carrying things. This is crucial, because these days, since we bought a family paddleboard, he takes lots of river adventures with the kids. Like, several times a week. It would be frustrating and exhausting for David if he had to do all the work himself. I was very impressed with them yesterday morning when they jumped up and loaded their own towels and life jackets in the van, then unloaded and hung them out to dry when we returned home.

In spending so much time at the river, we’ve all become thoroughly charmed by it.

You know, I’ve always aspired to do Charlotte Mason-style nature study with our kids in our home school, but have failed. I just haven’t consistently made the effort to get out and discover nature together, then pause to sketch or paint it.

But it occurred to me recently that our family is doing our own form of nature study.

In taking dozens of runs and walks and swims at the two rivers near our house, we’re learning all about the nature we find in these two places. We’ve seen blue herons, osprey, and egrets, as well as turtles, snakes, deer, and beavers. We’ve noticed the honeysuckle and Rose of Sharon blooming along the running path, and searched for (to an avail) the Rocky Shoals spider lilies that bloom in early summer, and are eagerly looking forward to the changing colors of the leaves in a couple months.

We’ve made our little patches of the Broad and Saluda Rivers special places to our family. Now when we reach the river, we feel the stress ease and normal life seems to melt away for a slice of the day as we soak in the quiet and the beauty.

David purchased a paddle board this month that’s made for rivers or lakes (or the ocean, for that matter), and so he and the kids have been exploring the river in a new way. Typically he can just take on of the kids out with him, but sometimes it’s two.

Recently, I read Greta Eskridge’s excellent new book, Adventuring Together: How to Create Connections and Make Lasting Memories with Your Kids. In the first chapter, she says,

Adventures change us. They take us out of our routines, our homes, our neighborhoods, our people — and make us grow. Adventures are so much fun. And we want that! But it’s when the adventures go beyond just being fun and push us into uncomfortable places that we are offering a great gift to our children. Because out of that discomfort comes all kinds of valuable learning about themselves and the world around them. Best of all, when we walk with our kids through the discomfort, it pushes us together, growing our relationships even stronger.

And this is why I’ve grown more and more thankful for David’s leadership in our family in the area of adventures.

I think we can all agree that cozy days at home with a great audiobook, or sitting around the table playing a game are wonderful ways to bond as a family. But we need more than that. We need to get up and get outside and see new things and push ourselves bond what’s cozy and comfortable.

This is why Saturdays have finally become joyful in our home. We’re finding a balance of both values.

The kids can sleep in or play until 9:00 while David and I linger over our coffee and Bibles, then we all jump up and go for our family run. Sometimes that’s all it is, sometimes we swim or get a treat afterwards. Then it’s back home for showers and lunch. In the afternoon, some of the kids have screen time, then hang out with me, while the others go with David and the paddle board back to the river.

It’s a truly restful day.

P.S. I enjoyed Greta Eskridge’s book, Adventuring Together, so much that I’d love to send this book to one of you! I’ll mail a copy to the first person to text or email me about it.