one week home.

We’ve been home one week today, and the fog of jet-lag is beginning to clear.  Here are ten rather disjointed one-week-home thoughts:

1. Even after a year away, “reverse culture shock” hasn’t seemed to hit too hard.  My first thought in the D.C. airport was how strange it was to hear American accents all around us.  Other than the odd moment of social readjustment–realizing I was standing much closer than necessary to the person in front of me in the check-out line; switching an item to my right hand to give to someone so I wouldn’t touch them with my left hand–we’ve eased back in pretty well I believe.

2.  America is truly a beautiful place.  Yes, we have our flaws, deep flaws.  But friends, I’m telling you: America is a wonderful, wonderful place.  The things in the news are hard–the changes in our country–but we are so very blessed.  Don’t forget it.

3.  I first drove again on Saturday.  I climbed into the mini-van we’re borrowing from some friends and headed to the Killian Road Wal-Mart.  I was cautious, but it helped immensely that I’ve never tried to drive in South Asia.  Within ten minutes, everything came back to me.  I love driving.

4.  The kids have not complained one time about their carseats.

5.  We are eating way too much.

6.  I am eating gluten again, in preparation for taking the Celiac’s test, and I definitely notice a difference in my health.  I have more headaches and stomachaches, and overall feel more sick.  Bummer.  But, whatever the results, it will be good to get back on my diet.  In the meantime, I’m pigging out on whatever I want, and loving every minute of it (well, except the feeling sick part).

7.  Judah and Ams are having a blast.  They love Nina and Papa’s house.  They love hanging out at Kenny and Cici’s with their cousins.  Amie said today, “Owen is my best friend.”  But they miss their friends in South Asia and ask about them every day.

8.  David and I made the trek to our mission agency headquarters on Monday for a meeting about what our “medical leave” should look like.  It was good to plan out next steps for the summer, which involve connecting with doctors and heading to a couple of conferences.  My first doctor’s appointment is tomorrow afternoon.

9.  This is a hard time for me–for both of us.  It’s wonderful to be home, there’s no doubt about it, but it’s also not at all what we’d planned for this summer.  It feels like a jarring interruption, and, in the interruption, we’re both feeling a little lost.  Everyone in my life can tell me, “It’s not your fault, it’s not your fault,” and I know that in my head.  But it’s still a heavy load to carry.

10.  In the meantime, I’ve been playing this song on repeat:

Give to the wind your fear
Hope and be undismayed
God hears your sighs and counts your tears
God will lift up your head.

Leave to his sovereign sway
To choose and to command
Then shall we wandering on his way
Know how wise and how strong.

Through waves and clouds and storms
He gently clears the way
Wait, because in his time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy. 

– Paul Gerhardt/John Wesley/Jars of Clay