kiawah, part 2. – gentino family

Yesterday we wrapped up a wonderful vacation. It was the perfect amount of time. I always feel panicked the first half of vacation at the thought of going home, but by the last day I know that it’s time, and I’m even looking forward to it.

It’s hard to pick a favorite part of this year’s vacation in a new place, but if I had to say one thing, I’d say it was the quiet. In other settings there are always people around us: in the hotel, on the elevators, in national parks. It’s not a bad thing, but our regular lives feel so very full of people that sometimes I just get so desperate to be alone.

Kiawah Island in September provided that for us in a new way. We stayed in a condo, but there were very few people staying on our street this week. And we saw people every day, but not many, and there were whole hours of each day where we didn’t talk to anyone outside our family. It was restful and healing, even.

I’m now very happy to get back to our life of people. Just a week once a year, that’s all we need!

Another favorite of the week was our back porch, with its view of a golf course and a pond. We read and journaled and chatted and sipped endless cups of coffee on this porch. We saw a bald eagle, osprey, mullet leaping in the pond, and egrets. We had Sunday morning family worship here, and a hawk that we never were able to identify landed on a branch right next to the condo, watching us.

The bikes were the collective favorite aspect of this vacation. Everyone loved the bikes. We rode to the beach, the pool, and exploring the island. We enjoyed the 20-minute ride across the Kiawah River to Freshfields Village, where there’s a coffee shop, Ben & Jerry’s, and a bookstore, among other fun treats.

One morning, David and Amie set off on an epic biking adventure, and the three boys and I road the opposite way to Freshfields Village. I told them they could each choose whatever drink they wanted. Gabe and Noah wanted Coke, and Judah got a vanilla bean frappe. We took our drinks to the lawn in the center of the Village for a Connect Four tournament.

We’re all fascinated by the “grassy couches,” which are artificial, but sure look real.

Meanwhile, David and Amie set out to bike to the tip of the island, and try to find some alligators along the way. Poor Amie woke up with the virus we all passed around this week. She said, “Dad, my throat’s sore, so we better go now before I really get sick.” Tough girl.

The neighborhoods get more and more fancy the further up the island you go, which is hard to believe, since there are plenty of fancy houses in our area too. When the two of them reached the tip of the island, they found a very exclusive golf course, and split a crab sandwich, fries, and lemonade.

When they arrived back at the condo at 2:00 pm, Amie crumpled to the floor and said “I’m half-dead.” However, an hour later she was ready to head to Ben & Jerry’s for ice cream cones (driving though, not biking!).

We also played a family tournament of Speed Connect Four, and competition was fierce.

We spent time on the beach, but not as much as years past due to our colds and because it got chilly this week! For a few days, the temperature dipped into the sixties at night, and even though it got back up in the seventies during the day, it was very windy down on the beach. But we found so much to do that we didn’t mind a bit, and still made it to the beach each afternoon for a couple hours.

On Friday morning, we drove 40 minutes to Charleston for some walking at Battery Park and a late breakfast at Baked Donut shop. We love the Baked truck at Soda City Market in Columbia, and decided to search for the original store. Our donuts were even more delicious than at the market. We also saw four dolphins frolicking in the harbor.

The family put together three puzzles that my parents loaned us for the trip. I say “the family” because I have to admit that I didn’t participate one bit. Actually, it’s mostly David, Gabe and Noah who do the puzzles, with a little help from Amie and every so often from Judah.

Gabe and Noah are puzzle machines. Their discipline and skill are amazing. They pattered up the stairs each morning and got right to work, and during afternoon play time most days too.

On Saturday we took a big bike ride as a family in search of alligators in some of the ponds (can you tell we have a thing for alligators? They’re just so fascinating). It was 11 miles round-trip, and the kids were troopers, especially Amie and Noah who were both sick by then. And I started coming down with it took. We’ve all had sore throats, sinus pain, and been achey. But thankfully no one got it quite as bad as David.

Saturday night was a first for us; we went on a date during vacation!

That’s right, we set the kids up with a movie and left my phone for them. David biked to Freshfields Village, but I took the van because I wasn’t feeling so great. We love, love the pizzeria there. We ate there as a family our first night of vacation and loved it so much the two of us decided to go back.

David and I each brought a stack of books for the week, of course. Judah did too. We got lots of reading time in. For the first time, David and I read novels by the same author! He read Deep River this summer and told me I’d love it. He was right. It was incredible.

We’re in such a beautiful season as a family. Everyone’s grown up enough for us to be active and mobile when we travel. But we also just really enjoy being together.

Don’t get me wrong: our kids bicker like any other kids. And we have attitude issues we’re working through. But even the working through of arguing and attitudes strengthens our bonds. I tell the kids that family relationships are a great way to learn the very important life skills of healthy conflict. I’m not sure how much they appreciate it now, but one day they will!

Honestly, I deal daily with fear of the future. Sometimes it’s hard for me to revel in the present — the sweetness of this season in our lives — because I’m bracing myself for the bad thing that’s surely right around the corner.

Basically, I’m a pessimist by nature.

I’m learning to admit that and surrender it the Lord each and every day. I’m learning to surrender the guilt over just enjoying my life and my life and the good gifts He’s giving us. I’m learning to really bank my life and hope on the fact that He holds our future, that He is God and I’m not. And that He’ll always be faithful.

To be honest, I wrestled with God this week on vacation. I arrived at Kiawah worn out, with a broken heart over some things that loved ones are facing right now.

On vacation I had time and space and solitude to just curl up in the living room early in the morning, or to sit on that shady back porch, soaking in the beauty, and pouring my heart out to the Lord, telling Him my doubts in His goodness, just letting my heart hurt in His presence.

And He met me there.

Those nine days were healing for me. I realized that I love fiercely, and in doing so, I can hold onto burdens — my own and other people’s. I can begin to think I know better than God does. And it wears me out and leaves me depleted and bruised at heart. I am not in control. I can’t fix anyone or anybody.

I’m called to love and worship God first and foremost, even in the mysteries of life, the questions that don’t seem to have answers. And I’m called to hold the people in my life with open hands, to release them to my Father, who loves them far more than I do.

I realized that afresh in the beauty and quiet of Kiawah Island, and I took great comfort in the knowledge.

Our whole family is back home refreshed, treasuring all these new memories, and ready for the season ahead.