isle of palms.

We took our last trip of the summer, to Isle of Palms, SC, this week. If it seems like we traveled a lot this summer, we did! This spring we planned our first ever full-week family vacation, in the mountains outside of Brevard, NC. Well, lo and behold we adopted two little boys instead, so we canceled our reservation — both because it was scheduled for two weeks after Gabe and Noah came home, and because the place we chose wasn’t exactly a toddler-friendly environment.

Instead, God provided several small trips, this last one to our friend’s family’s condo in Isle of Palms. We spent three nights there, and I have to say it was my favorite trip yet. We’ve learned a lot about how to travel with four kids over the past few months, so we were super organized, and the kids have also learned a lot about what to expect in new environments. We work hard to keep the boys’ routine the exact same no matter where we are, and to travel with stuffed animals, blankets, and their bedroom fan.

There was a huge fresh tidepool at low tide each day, which meant that the little guys were able to do way more swimming than former beach trips. It also meant that we saw lots of fascinating creatures — live sand dollars, starfish, sting rays, and fish.

We loved having a three-bedroom condo to spread out in, and we brought Pokemon cards, coloring supplies, a few toys, and of course books for David and me. Every so often we get the kids a new toy at the beginning of a trip, which helps keep them busy while we’re sitting sipping coffee. Although Noah rarely if ever plays with toys. If he does he’s certain to want whichever toy someone else is playing with. Oh Noah! We have lots of talks these days about using self-control.

We spent mornings on the beach, and afternoons after naptime, we went down to the pool. For the first time ever we braved a sit-down restaurant with four kids — and we did it two nights in a row! It went great! I’ll never have my former life back, and that’s okay, but it always gives me a boost to add back in a piece like this. Eating at restaurants still won’t be a habit for us anytime soon, but it’s nice to know that we can do it.

Because we stayed in a small hotel suite in Myrtle Beach, we let Judah and Amie stay up with us at night. We had movie night. David took them for flashlight walks on the beach. This trip though we kept bedtime firm so that the two of us could have time together, and it was so refreshing.

We’ve talked in recent years, wondering aloud together, “What does it look like to rest before vacation?” This just means, how can we pace ourselves and set healthy boundaries in life so that we don’t enter a vacation frazzled and utterly exhausted? We’ve found that when we do that more often than not our “vacation expectations” are way too high, and we’re bound to be disappointed when it doesn’t feel perfect or we don’t get the rest we need.

Of course there are just plain busy seasons in life, but on the whole I feel like we’re finding that pace: trying to build downtime for each of us and either an at-home date or a real date each week, figuring out how many nights a week we can do ministry and be with people, and how many we need to be home, just our family. For me it means keeping a healthy pace for my children so they aren’t tired and over-busy each day, and so that I have time each day to sit and connect with them, even for just a few minutes.

It was wonderful to enter this last vacation without feeling desperate for it: just happy it was here. We were more excited to spend time with our kids rather than feeling like they were in the way. We had energy to run around on the beach, to look out for each other’s needs and offer one another a break, and to actually sit and chat at night rather than zone out, exhausted, in front of the TV (which believe me, we’ve done plenty of nights since our adoption). This is still very much a trial-and-error process, but it is encouraging to see growth that brings us joy.

We loved our trip!