for martha.

This afternoon Martha and I got in a taxi and sat together for the hour-long ride to the airport.  I felt the silence stretching the whole length of the seat between us, filled-to-bursting with all the things I couldn’t say.  Sometimes I clam up when I am most sad, and I hate that about myself.

I dropped her off at the airport, with her suitcases and a letter that I hope helps to form that silence into all the gratitude I feel in my heart.   We said our rushed good-byes at the door, in front of a crowd and an airport attendant impatient to move her through the line.  And then I wiped away tears and put on my brave face for the lonely walk back to the taxi.

I cried all the way home.

God gave me a gift this month.  He knew when I’d need it most.  He knew all that would happen in these three weeks, and that more than a plan or even a solution I’d just need a friend.  Someone to make me laugh, to have fun with, to help me remember why I am growing to love this country and its people.  Someone to bake cookies so we could take them and meet neighbors, to listen to me cry and vent about the hard things, to remind me of what is true.

Martha served our family.  She came with her quiet, happy spirit and cared for our kids and changed countless diapers and played Toy Story and washed dishes and grocery shopped and made peanut-butter-and-honey sandwiches.  She learned how to make chai and how to buy fruit and how to catch an auto.  She ate spicy food and talked with neighbors and sat, smiling, in South Asian homes and babysat teammates’ kids.  She did a hundred little things that no-one will ever know about but us, and blessed us immeasurably.

I miss her servant-help already, but the thing I miss the most is her friendship.

We are very, very thankful to her family and our church, for sending her to us this month.

We love you so much, Martha.