depression/anxiety
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what worked and what didn’t in 2018, part 2.
Hi friends! So I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath for the things that didn’t work for me in 2018! Have no fear, I am back and ready to finish up this series. What didn’t work: Running Yes. It’s true. Running did not work for me in 2018, and I have no one to blame but myself. Here’s the secret: I just don’t like running. I’ve tried for years and years because I know it’s good for me, and because, as my husband tells me, it’s the most time-efficient form of exercise. I’ve also tried because, in all honesty, I want people to think I’m a runner.…
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fifth year of homeschooling (with depression).
Friends, today is our last day of school! We made it! We celebrated with a surprise trip to Dunkin’ Donuts and big smiles all around. As I gather pictures for this blog post and remember our year, this fullness welling up in my heart is gratitude. Sheer gratitude, that we were able to complete this school year. Allow me to reflect a tiny bit. This is the first time that I nearly spent an entire school year living with depression. It descended like a thick dark cloud last summer and has dogged me ever since. I’m telling you this, first of all, because I want to tell you about…
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expect to suffer in 2018.
I know that’s an alarming title for a blog post, but please hear me out. Typically I write some sort of New Year’s goal post. I’ve been thinking about it all month, taking time to reflect on last year, asking myself what I hope and pray for this new year. All the while I’ve begun reading daily from Tim and Kathy Keller’s new devotional book on Proverbs: God’s Wisdom for Navigating Life. It’s only January 29, but already this book has impacted me. I stopped short three days ago when I read, “The mark of wisdom is to be ready for suffering.” The Kellers go so far as to say…
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august.
Can you believe it is already September? In 5 days my oldest child will be double-digits. I glanced back over my blog entries … posts were kind of patchy this summer, I know. I really struggle with blogs and the internet and social media in general. I think they have wonderful benefits. But they’re also one-dimensional. The things that are most photo-graphable are the fun, exciting things. Not the messes. The tempers. The two-hour period before dinner when I want to pull my hair out. The internet is fun, but it’s not real life. It’s a snapshot. I think we’re at our best when we can stop and realize this,…
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six years ago.
Has it really been six years? Oh, the places we saw, the people we met. I look at these photos that seem like something out of a beautiful dream, and yet, my main memory is: Sick. Sick, sick, sick. I did not go to the Taj Mahal — David and Judah visited the Taj Mahal while I holed up in a hotel room in an enormous foreign city with a migraine and a one-year-old. Even so, I’m thankful for every single sight I saw: snow capping the Himalayas, orphans with beaming faces, enough stand-still traffic jams to last a lifetime. And I look at the Julie in those pictures and…
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what worked and what didn’t in 2016.
Hello my friends! I hope your Christmas was great! We had a wonderful holiday weekend, and then I woke up on Monday and wanted every single decoration taken down, stowed away in the attic, pine needles swept, and our house organized. As you well know, I have a much lower threshold for clutter nowadays. All the kids have to purge some toys before Christmas or birthdays, but we did even more on Monday, and reorganized their rooms to accommodate new things without losing dozens of Lego pieces throughout the house (which David and I inevitably step on). Now our home is back to normal and everyone’s at peace and getting…
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the post i was going to write.
I had a great post planned for today. A couple of friends asked me to write on navigating life with young children as an introvert, and I’m only too happy to oblige. I’ve been thinking on it for a couple of weeks now, anxious to share all these things I’ve been learning. I have some new systems in place. A tighter, more effective daily schedule! Fewer commitments! Less time on social media! But the more I tried to get my thoughts out of my head and wrestle this blog post into submission, the more I seemed to notice my real life, hitting me over the head like a 2×4. In…
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backyard progress.
I’ve had these photos in the queue for a couple weeks, waiting for a blog post, but David’s been working so hard that they’re are already outdated. Ah well. I’ll show you what I’ve got and next week I’ll post some more! But first, a quick trip down memory lane. We bought this house because we had a vision for our backyard. We hoped the fact that the house was small (1,450 square feet) would give us a good nudge to spend more time outside. In essence, we wanted to make a little homestead, complete with an “outdoor living room” where we could read and play and work and be.…
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what i’m learning in counseling, take two.
Hello friends! How are you this weekend? I’ve been thinking about this post for awhile, mulling it over in my head. I think when I last talked about my anxiety here, I mentioned looking for a good therapist. This is “Take Two” for me, because I saw a counselor for several years in my twenties when I was first diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It was enormously helpful and a gift from God. She now lives overseas and we transitioned to just being good friends once our official counseling relationship was over. You’d think because I had this wonderful experience, I’d be fine with diving back in this time around.…
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how to survive the summer with anxiety.
This is a hard post for me to write, because I’m still very much in the thick of my anxiety issues. I wish I could tell you I’m doing better — actually, I take that back. I am doing better, I think. I have more good days than bad days. It’s just a slower journey than I’d like. If you’ve traveled the path of trying different or more medication, you yourself know that it’s a slow and laborious process. I wish I could write these reflections from closer to the mountain-top. But I’m picking my way over roots and rocks, sweating up the incline. I love the blog Design Mom,…
