one month gluten-free.

I have been gluten-free for over a month now, which is hard to believe.

I am so, so thankful to be feeling better, but it’s been a hard adjustment and a hard month.  It is a drastic change, and we’re still taking it one day at a time.

A couple of weeks ago, I purged our home of the majority of our glutinous foods, and replaced our toaster (which obviously is impossible to completely clean of crumbs).  I am so thankful that David was willing to make the switch.  It makes my life much easier not to have to cook separately for myself and the rest of the family.

We’re still not completely gluten-free; we’ve gone back and forth about how “strict” to be, and I feel like we’re finding a workable balance.  We have normal cereal and some snack foods on hand for David and the kids.  But the flour, pasta, bread—all baking and cooking ingredients—are gone.

So, what’s the hardest part, you ask?

Well, it’s two-fold.

One, it’s been hard to have everyone in the house dependent on me for every single meal.  Before there were always a few easy, convenient foods on hand—bread for toast and sandwiches, snack foods, etc.  But we had to get rid of all that, so I am constantly having to think of things for us all to eat.  And to look for new recipes online.  Or alter recipes we already have.  Snack food ideas are hard.

A friend said it well when he reminded me that I’ve had my whole adult life to gather, bit by bit, the recipes we’ve been using.  And now I’m suddenly starting back at square one, with four mouths to feed every single day.

I guess that’s how it feels: overwhelming.  And, I’m tired of baked chicken with veggies.  And of rice.

David and Amie are champs, but Judah is our picky eater, and this month I have discovered that this basically means he only likes to eat gluten (Seriously.  Bread.  Bagels.  Pancakes.  Pizza.).  So while this switch is much healthier for him too, it is hard having battles at almost every single meal and snack time.

Second, I didn’t realize how this diet would change our lifestyle.  I took for granted how mobile we were until I became gluten-free.  Now I’m realizing I probably cooked dinner only about three nights a week.  The rest of our meals were leftovers, quick meals like eggs-on-toast, or eating out.  Now I’m cooking virtually all our meals, and that means I’m in the kitchen a whole lot more.  Which, I’m not gonna lie: I don’t love.

And along with that, is the realization of how much eating out has helped me to bond with this city.  Actually it helps me bond with anywhere I am.  I just love eating out, as anyone who is close to me knows!  Here, it is inexpensive and a way to experience lots of different kinds of cuisine, as well as an easy way I can take a break.  When I’ve had a hard day or when David travels, it’s so easy to just order dinner in.

So having all that taken away, and knowing that this is for the rest of my life, has been shocking and frustrating to say the least.  I have to admit, I’ve spent a lot of this month just plain angry at the world (maybe also from withdrawals??), and it helped to finally put my finger on some of these things.

I’m so thankful for a husband and for friends and family who are sympathetic and let me complain to them.  Who don’t try to make me look at the bright side.  But who are my encouragers and helpers by sending things from the States and finding me recipes online and having alternate foods at their homes when I visit.  I truly couldn’t do this without them.

I’m thankful for an amazing group of women who sent me a stand mixer and a transformer to convert it to our voltage, and who are sending two boxes of gluten-free food.  I’m thankful for a friend who sent me a bread machine.  I’m thankful for how these things will lighten my daily load.

Most of all, I’m thankful to be healthy.  It really is worth it.