painting.

(there was a little mix-up at the beginning, where Amie thought the paint was supposed to go on her face)

Judah painted pictures for “my cousin Annie,” “Joe,” and “Mum-Mum.” 

And Miss Amelie?  For “Jo-fan” (Jonathan).

My heart swells with love for these two kids.  I am overwhelmed that God made them and gave them to David and me.  We couldn’t have possibly picked out their sweet faces or little voices or personalities more perfectly.  He did a good job.

These last six months have been hard.  Really hard.  And I am in awe of the courage and resilience of Judah and Amelie.  This move turned their world upside-down.  And it has cost them something.  Not just in the things they have left behind — their beloved family, their friends, their familiar places and some of their toys.  But it has cost them parents who were, to some extent, steady.  Who were confident and comfortable in their world and knew, more or less, what was coming next.

I have been a sad mom sometimes these six months.  Sometimes angry.  Sometimes depressed.  Many times tired.  And I am grieved to admit that the three people I love the most in the world have often born the brunt of it.  And yet somehow, my children wake up each morning and tumble into our bedroom with big smiles and throw arms around my neck for a cuddle. I love you Mommy, just the way you are.

David chases little two kids back and forth through the apartment to shrieks of delight, and in this moment I realize: we haven’t just survived these six months.  We’ve had eyes opened wide to a whole new part of God’s world and learned more than I thought possible.  We have traveled many miles and learned a whole new vocabulary.  We have seen things delightful and things heart-breaking.  By God’s grace, we have stopped and noticed.  We have made memories together that are nothing less than a gift. 

In the midst of the hardness, we have laughed together.  We have had family dance parties, music blasting.  We’ve cuddled close on endless auto rides and tasted new ice-cream flavors and bought toys.  We have had movie nights with popcorn and dosas for breakfast and splashed in the pool. 

After six months in South Asia, I can say that I trust God more, not less, with these precious children of mine.  Sure, it’s changed them, but I see them smiling and tearing through the apartment courtyard calling out greetings to whoever they pass, and I know they are doing just fine here.  I love that Amie loves chai and spicy food and bangle bracelets, and Judah says “Aunty” and “pahnda bear” and the sing-song greeting, “Namaskara.” 

As full as my own mother-heart is with love for these two, I know the God who made them loves them way, way more.  He is taking good care of them.  And I am thankful.