malaysia.

Well, we are home, safe and sound.

When I think about our trip I want to cry because it was so wonderful.

First, as you know, we had our agency’s area retreat, which I’ll get to in a second.  Then, because we were already in Malaysia, we took the once-in-a-lifetime chance of a little island vacation afterwards.  And that was amazing in a different way because it was just our family at the beach, breathing in the cleanest sea air imaginable, taking long walks and lots of naps in the silence.  I didn’t realize how good it would feel to just get away by ourselves for awhile.

But, I’m getting ahead of myself.

I mentioned before that our agency puts on area retreats once every four years for their missionaries.  Our team gathered with about 200 others who are serving in our region of the world (some of the other countries represented were Japan, China, Cambodia, Taiwan, and Australia).

We heard good things about this retreat, but it completely exceeded our expectations.  It truly was a “retreat.”  We all stayed at a clean, spacious, green resort with pools, air-conditioning, hot showers, and amazing food.  I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I ate beef at two meals every single day.  I just could not stop.  I guess my body was craving something!

The schedule was a nice, easy pace, with seminars in the mornings and before dinner, and afternoons and evenings free.  There were staff doctors, counselors, and former missionaries all present to meet with us when we wanted throughout the week.

While the grown-ups met for worship, preaching and teaching, a group of people from the States raised support just to come and care for our kids and teenagers.  Judah and Amelie moved from dreading going to their classes that very first day, to loving them and asking to go back by the end of the week.

So that I won’t bore you with all the details, I’ll tell you my two favorite things about the week.

First, the preaching.  Ray, a pastor from Florida, spoke about the missionary’s need for the gospel first and foremost.  Our going to the mission field is not primarily about the ministry we do, but about God working in our hearts, exposing our sin, forgiving us and freeing us.  Until we see ourselves as the biggest sinner in our community and the most in need of the gospel, we will never be able to love other people.

He also gave a message on “The Wilderness,” that was so meaningful, saying that wilderness experiences are a fact of life, especially for missionaries.  They are painful and desolate, but “In the wilderness we get God and we get him almost nowhere else.”

I was able to look back on my own wilderness year, and see how God has poured out his love on me.  When things are hard, I spend so much time praying for him to rescue me from the wilderness, but instead I want to grow to ask him to give me more of himself.  I feel a renewed gratitude that he continually strips away all of these props I turn to to feel good about myself, so that I will turn to him for everything.  There is so much freedom in this; I just need the eyes to see.

My second favorite thing is tied in with the first.  I reveled in so many conversations with others who are doing what we’re doing.  People who have been on the field for two weeks, two years, and twenty years.  The staff and Ray and his wife were all available and eager to sit and talk and listen and encourage us.  People shared their own stories of health struggles, depression, anxiety, homesickness, and also the joys of what they are doing.  There was hope there.

And somehow in being with all of them, God confirmed in my heart that this is what I want to be doing more than anything in the world.  I have to confess that most of this year my mindset has been, Let’s get the job done we’re here to do, then get home as quickly as possible.  But in talking with people who’ve lived on the field for decades, I can begin to grasp the depth of relationships they have that are only possible through time, through sticking around.  I see how most of their ministry has not ended up being about what they “get done,” but about them simply living life with their national friends, learning together, growing in repentance together, seeking to share Christ together with those who haven’t heard.  And in that, the Holy Spirit brings the fruit.  What a messy and a beautiful thing.

Well, if you have stuck around to the end of this post, I thank you!  More about our island vacation to come.

Enjoying an afternoon swim.

The three and four-year-old class.

Ams modeling one of Judah’s crafts.

A Malaysian cultural group performed during dinner one evening.

They invited volunteers up on stage to learn a Malaysian dance, and Amie was eager to join in!

Kids’ program on the last day.

Judah and his buddies learned songs and Bible verses that they shared with us.

Thanks John for the pictures!