day 2: the outside noise of purposeless busyness.

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In order to discover how to live a life of purposeful simplicity I need to peel back the layers. And I’ve come to think of the layers as “noise;” both noise that comes from outside me and noise that’s in my own heart. The old me felt that noise and responded with frustration, helplessness, and blaming people or situations around me.

The new me has begun to identify early signs of this rising frustration and ask myself the question, “What’s the specific noise that’s getting in the way of a peaceful heart right now? What’s keeping me from being at rest?”

One of the biggest ways noise seeps into my life is through purpose-less busyness. I have great ideas and make plans and say “yes” and just kind of catapult into my week without even thinking. I hear of opportunities and agree to them, either because they sound good or because I don’t want to miss out or both.

But in running from one activity to the next I start to find myself tired and guilty and less and less able to sit still and be. I find myself rushing my kids along and frustrated by the simple things in my life like having to stop and play with them or cook dinner.

For awhile I thought the solution to managing my busyness was a calendar, and I’m very devoted to my little Target day planner. But I started realizing that the day planner wasn’t quieting the perpetual buzz of stress in my week and the resentment that was creeping in.

The problem, like I said yesterday, wasn’t with the word “busy”; it was the word “purposeless.” I didn’t have a vision for this season of my life or a list of priorities. And so there was no guiding light for the activities of my weeks and months; I just kind of planned and accepted invitations indiscriminately because it felt selfish not to. All the opportunities around me seemed good.

But I was living in defense-mode, being carried along by my schedule, rather than taking charge of my schedule and using it to live my purpose. Tomorrow I’ll tell you a story about how purposeless busyness turned a good thing bad in my life.